I have just taken a booking for a wedding fireworks displaywith the following specifications:
1. It must be kept secret from the groom for as long as possible.

2. If found out by the groom at any time up to the big bang I have to lie blatantly so that he doesnt know the display is for him.

3. Ensure that I use the loudest bangs possible to make it a fireworks display he will never forget.

Now this display is a present from the bride to her husband who is on active service with the British Army in one of the world’s current hostile zones.

Now this raises 3 big questions:

1. If married life starts of with secrets, lies and deceit is that the format for a long and happy married life?

Well I think it probably is, we have done hundreds of wedding displays where the display was set up secretly. Both brides and bridegrooms have been surprised, many have cried at something so special but one thing we know for certain - no bride or groom that we have surprised has ever asked us to do a display for their divorce.

2. If a squaddie comes home on leave to attend his wedding from one of the worlds trouble hot spots, probably bringing some of his mates with him, is it a good idea to wait until after dark, take him and the guests outside and start a “surprise” fireworks display with some of the loudest fireworks that I can find?

I dont know the answer to this question until somebody answers question 3.

3. When on leave the soldiers do leave their guns in the barracks dont they…………. ?

Oh heck

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